Ladies And Gentlemen, Please Give A Warm Round Of Applause For Haftorah Reader Jack Benny!

But it’s still unclear whether even the performance will have enough for a minyan:

Impressive, those names in the sanctuary of the little synagogue on West 47th Street in Manhattan: Joe E. Lewis and Sophie Tucker on the stained-glass windows, Jack Benny on a plaque in the rear. The names tell you why, in its golden age, this synagogue became known as the Actors’ Temple. They also tell you something about when that golden age was.

Recently — say, oh, during the last half-century — this temple, with a declining membership and a vanishing budget, has not been doing so well. So starting with an official opening night tomorrow, the Actors’ Temple, for the first time in its 89-year history, will be moonlighting as an Off Broadway theater.

. . .

The temple was a tough sell, with restrictions over and above the usual constraints of a small theater. Sets need to be flexible enough so they don’t interfere with services; food taken into the temple must be kosher; and shows must go dark on Friday evenings and Saturday mornings. (The Saturday matinee is a sore point at the temple, but sometimes you’ve got to give an inch.) Holidays are booked, too, of course.

“You can’t move Yom Kippur because you have a show on,” Mr. Kifferstein said.

Board members talked with the producers of “A Jew Grows in Brooklyn,” a nostalgic comedy that seemed like just the thing, but negotiations broke down, and that show went to the 37 Arts, an Off Broadway theater on West 37th Street.

Dazzle Me With Your Baubles, A Bright Commercial Hub

Which is more likely — that something spectacular and “outside the box” will be built at Coney Island or that they can pull this off in Jamaica? Both of course much easier said than done:

A shabby stretch of downtown Jamaica, sitting in the shadows of the LIRR station, will be transformed into a bright commercial hub, officials said yesterday.

Towel-Snapping Brutes

Critics charge that the city’s chronic lifeguard shortage is its own doing:

Bullies conduct the testing for lifeguard positions at city beaches and pools, said parents of kids who claim they were humiliated by City Department of Parks and Recreation workers.

An ad hoc committee has been formed to get the City Council to investigate the allegations. Committee members say abuses include grown men cursing at young girls, testers purposely failing swimmers who met qualifications and closed-door trials out of public view.

. . .

The committee report recommends that training and testing be expanded beyond the department’s 59th St. pool in Manhattan. It also suggests open testing and improvements in recruitment efforts.

The committee additionally called for the ouster of Peter Stein, president of Local 508, the lifeguards’ union. The committee charged that Stein has run the lifeguard program for decades as his own “little fiefdom.”

His Idea Of “Something Spectacular” Is Exactly What We Fear

Be sure to take a last thrilling ride in the Astrotower before it’s too late:

It’s the last ride for Astroland as New Yorkers know it.

A big-bucks developer bought up the gritty Brooklyn amusement park yesterday in its bid to turn Coney Island into a sparkling new $1.5 billion year-round resort.

The 2007 summer season will be Astroland’s last under the plan, which would leave the historic landmark Cyclone roller coaster intact.

Astroland owner Carol Hill Albert sold the 3-acre Astroland site to developer Joseph Sitt’s Thor Equities for an unspecified amount.

. . .

Albert said she hopes to relocate some of the rides like the Tilt-A-Whirl and Tea Cups elsewhere along the Boardwalk.

Even if Albert is able to relocate rides like the Pirate Ship, Top Spin and the Scrambler, one of the most popular, the Astrotower, will have to leave Coney Island for good.

“That I can’t move,” said Albert, who noted it would cost as much as $400,000 to move the 200-foot, World’s Fair era attraction. “You can put it on eBay for me.”

Thor spokesman Lee Silberstein said the famed Cyclone roller coaster, which sits on city land, would not change hands and would continue to be operated by Albert.

The rest of Astroland would be cleared for new rides and an indoor entertainment complex, but Silberstein declined to reveal specific plans.

Thor also envisions luxury condos, and turning Stillwell Ave. into a tree-lined pedestrian mall filled with cafes and shops.

“We’re thinking totally outside of the box,” said Silberstein. “We’re thinking something spectacular that would be really great for New York City.”

Location Scout: Coney Island.

Come To New York: Keep Walking*

Like Budweiser, New York has to keep piling on:

Hoping to turn the Big Apple into a global brand, the city’s tourism office has picked an ad agency for the first time to handle its marketing worldwide.

Independent shop Bartle Bogle Hegarty beat out two other firms — Interpublic’s Lowe and Havas’ Arnold Worldwide, sources close to the review said.

In June, Mayor Bloomberg said the city would set aside an additional $15 million to meet its goal of attracting 50 million visitors a year by 2015. That’s a 16 percent increase from the estimated 43 million this year.

*Sorry, I guess that one has already been used.