I Only Started To Feel Stupid When My Life Began To Resemble A New Yorker Cartoon

A study shows that almost half of all cars on the road in Park Slope are simply looking for parking:

Almost half of the cars clogging Park Slope’s main commercial arteries are driving in circles in search of parking, a new traffic study from a transportation advocacy group shows.

While vehicles competing for parking spaces account for only 28% of street traffic on some of Manhattan’s most congested streets, 45% of drivers on the road in this primarily residential Brooklyn neighborhood are searching for curbside parking, according to the study, which Transportation Alternatives will release today.

A lack of parking options translates into lost business, as potential customers grow frustrated circling the block and eventually take their business to other neighborhoods, the study shows. About 15% of parked cars are also illegally stationed in front of fire hydrants, no-standing zones, and ambulance lanes near hospitals.

Oh, Now I Get It — That N-Word!

OK, I think everyone’s pretty much understands which “N-word” they’re talking about:

At a hearing yesterday on a resolution to discourage the use of the n-word, the racially offensive term was heard more times than on a Kanye West album.

The spewing of the slur nearly 50 times in less than two hours angered the anti-n-word measure’s sponsor, Councilman Leroy Comrie (D-Queens).

“If I had been the chair, I would have asked them not to use the word,” Comrie told The Post afterward. “I was not pleased.”

Marcia Harris, founder of the Harlem-based Ban the N-Word Movement, got the ball rolling with a passionate lecture on the word’s origins — that dropped the n-bomb a staggering 19 times.

“All of the other things will be for naught if, at the core, you see yourself and others who look like you as a n- – – – -, a word used to dehumanize a living, thinking human being,” she said during the hearing held by the council’s Civil Rights Committee.

The campaign to stop the use of the slur is aimed largely at young whites and blacks who aren’t aware of the term’s historical significance or don’t care. The measure, approved by the committee, will be taken up by the full council tomorrow.

Tim Gaylord, a New Jersey resident who told lawmakers he was instrumental in getting a similar measure passed in Irvington, N.J., used the word 10 times in his testimony.

He said using the word makes people think about blacks in a negative way.

“Fifty-thousand black people murdered and ain’t nobody saying anything about it. Why?” he asked. “It’s because it’s just n- – – – -s.”

Even some council members didn’t bother with euphemisms to make their points while sporting pins with a slash over the letter “N.”

Mike Nelson (D-Brooklyn), who was the only white person to use the word at the hearing, described a “sickening, scary, depressing” date he had in the 1960s while serving in the Air Force in Arkansas.

When he grimaced after his date used the n-word twice, he said, she told him, “Well, obviously you don’t like what I’m saying. Well, they may be Negroes to y’all, but they’re n- – – – -s to me.”

Blame The Victim

The MTA wants you to know that you, the rider, are one of the biggest reasons its trains are delayed:

Subway riders behaving badly is a leading cause of train delays, transit statistics reveal.

More than 4,270 trains were thrown off their schedules last year because riders blocked subway car doors from closing in stations, according to Transit Authority statistics. It’s now the fifth-leading cause of delays, up from 20th place just five years earlier.

Unruly behavior as a cause for sluggish trains, meanwhile, spiked in December, moving into the top 10 reasons for tieups.

Transit officials said they couldn’t explain what appears to be an increase in boorish behavior on the rails.

“It’s really annoying,” door-hold victim Steve Cunning, 24, said yesterday at the Union Square subway station. “Just this morning at 51st St., this guy put his foot in the door to hold it for his friends, who were like a minute behind him.”

Cunning, a stockbroker from Manhattan, said most of his fellow riders meekly accepted the slowdown.

“He was gigantic, so there weren’t that many comments, and if there were, they were from way in the back,” he said.

Daryl Johnston, 46, who was waiting for an uptown No. 5 train at the Wall St. station, called for aggressive enforcement of TA rules against impeding the flow of trains.

“It’s wrong,” he said. “They should be given a ticket.”

The TA records a train as delayed if it arrives at its terminal station at the end of the line more than six minutes late.

Pot . . . kettle . . . pot . . . kettle.

Soon Streets Only Will Be Named For Numbers And Jesus

Some are looking to change the name of “Corbin Place” in Brooklyn’s Manhattan Beach now that everybody understands how much of a raging anti-semite namesake Austin Corbin was:

Over the last two weeks, several dozen Corbin Place residents have contacted the Community Board 15 office, demanding to know how the name change would affect everything from their mail to the deeds to their homes.

“It seems that the news has finally hit them that they [Corbin Place residents] will have to do some work,” said Community Board 15 Chair Theresa Scavo, who said that most of the calls she’s answered at the board offices were from residents voicing their outrage.

“I’ve answered about 50 phone calls all about the same things,” she said. “Over and over I’m told that people are afraid that the name change is going to be more like they’re moving.”

Dozens more calls regarding the same concerns have been sent to State Senator Carl Kruger’s office, as well as the offices of City Councilmember Michael Nelson, who is spearheading the charge to get the street renamed.

To assuage the concerns of residents, Nelson is reportedly bringing representatives from the United States Post Office, as well as an attorney to talk about what block residents will and will not be required to do if the name change goes through.

The street, ironically, is already named for the person who put Manhattan Beach on the map: Austin Corbin.

In the late 1800s, Corbin built the first railroads to the Town of Gravesend, which was later broken up into the neighborhoods of Manhattan Beach, Brighton Beach and Coney Island.

Corbin is also credited with building several hotels in the area, including the Manhattan Beach Hotel, a premier vacation spot for millionaires, elected officials and the Broadway stars of the time.

But sometimes you have to take history warts and all.

As indicated in Daily News columnist Denis Hamill’s story, besides building up Manhattan Beach, Corbin was a president of the American Society of the Suppression of Jews.

He often spoke out against Jews and Jewish causes.

According to an article in the Brooklyn Eagle that Hamill cited in his piece, Corbin said Jews “were a pretentious class who expect three times as much for their money as other people.”

“They [Jews] are a detestable and vulgar people,” he repeatedly said in statements to the press.

The fresh look at historical facts has prompted many to demand a name change, said Nelson.

“The majority of people living in the area are Jewish,” Nelson said in an earlier interview. “It just doesn’t seem right to have a street, especially in our little corner of the world, named after this despicable character.”

But doesn’t this quickly get problematic once you start digging too deep? After all, Peter Stuyvesant — think Stuyvesant Place, Stuyvesant Town and Stuyvesant High School — was a bit of a Jew hater, too. Then there’s Cortlandt Street — named for the Van Cortlandt Family, who happened to be slaveowners. And Dey Street — named for Dirck Dey, another slaveowner. Oh, and William Houstoun — who Houston Street is named for — slaveowner, too. And don’t forget Thomas Jefferson — who Jefferson Street is named for — slaveowner and slave rapist.

And By “Car” She Means “First Cousin”

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire:

A feud between Gypsies turned violent in Soho on Tuesday night, when several men attacked a local fortuneteller and her husband.

According to Elaine Marino, the incident started when three Gypsies tried to break into her daughter-in-law Linda’s white Porsche, which was parked near her business, Linda’s Psychic Shop, at Spring and Sullivan Sts. Marino said that when her daughter came out of the shop, they assaulted her on the sidewalk. Marino’s son, Jesse, Linda’s husband, also was attacked by the men, his mother said. (Marino declined to provide the last names of her son and daughter-in-law.)

. . .

According to a witness at the bar, the attackers were enraged at Jesse for having sex with his “first cousin,” and, in fact, had beaten him up in Florida for this previously.

Marino claimed the men had been “stalking” her son and his wife. She, too, said the feud stemmed from earlier trouble with the men during an encounter in Florida.

“It’s some kind of jealousy, vendetta, from Florida,” she said. Asked what type of jealousy, she said, “Some jealousy over a car.

“We’re not part of the same clan. They’re from Canada,” she said of the assailants. Her son Jesse grew up in the neighborhood, and Linda owns another psychic shop nearby, she said. They are all Romani, Gypsies, she said.

Buried lede: The fortuneteller’s Porsche confirms once and for all that New Yorkers are wasting entirely too much money on psychics.