In A Word, Yes

Things your lawyers don’t want a jury to hear include “So I killed someone — that makes me a bad guy?”:

Murder suspect Keith Phoenix confessed to the hate-crime slaying of Jose Sucuzhanay with these shockingly callous words: “So I killed someone — that makes me a bad guy?”

Police sources said Phoenix showed no remorse for beating the 31-year-old victim in the mistaken belief he was gay because he was walking arm-in-arm with his brother.

“He kept saying, ‘What’s the big deal? The guy’s dead,'” a police source said.

He Just Wants To Prove It She Does Nothing To Remove It We Blame Her For Being There But We Are All There And We Are All Guilty

We wanted you to exist, which is of course why you exist:

It’s not that there’s no truth in it. Megan and I exist. That’s like saying David Sedaris’s life never happened

Traffic Calming . . . By Drowning Traffic In The Bathtub Or Shanking Traffic With A Rusty Shiv

If you want to create a pedestrian mall, then by all means, create a pedestrian mall — people should drive less and walk more — Yay! Woohoo! — you just made Gary Numan cry again! But if you do create a pedestrian mall, please, please, please don’t call it a “traffic congestion reducing measure,” because closing streets cannot possibly reduce congestion — no matter how much you want to repeat the lie:

The city plans to close several blocks of Broadway to vehicle traffic through Times Square and Herald Square, an experiment that would turn swaths of the Great White Way into pedestrian malls and continue Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg’s effort to reduce traffic congestion in Midtown.

Nate Silver Adjusts Regression Analysis By Adding Rodent Aggression Factor

A new X factor in political polling emerges in the wake of the Groundhog Day Uprising:

Staten Island Chuck was merely defending his turf when he chomped on Mayor Bloomberg’s finger, according to a poll out Wednesday.

A Quinnipiac poll shows that 61% of New Yorkers believe Chuck was protecting his home, while 15% say the feisty groundhog was making a political statement.

My Fellow Americans, The State Of The Brooklyn Brand Is Strong

Proving that Brooklyn is all things to all people — including but not limited to pizza, perfume and baby names — it is now also an incubator for a culinary-minded generation whose idea of fun is learning how to make something delicious and finding a way to sell it.