You Live In The Absolute Best Place In The World, And Things Are About To Get That Much More Awesome

Lead paragraph of the day from the Brooklyn Paper:

The only bad thing about our borough’s roads is that there’s no place to sit and have a meal.

Overeducated Contrarianism Or Viral Sears Campaign?

It’s never too soon to reconsider vinyl siding:

To Mr. Canfield, replacing vinyl siding that is in good shape, as some homebuyers do as soon as they have the deed, is like carelessly restoring antiques that came over on the Mayflower. He views vinyl siding facades as the key to preserving Williamsburg’s working-class traditions, which arguably has become its own facade.

“It’s not the most beautiful thing, but it’s real,” he said. “It’s authentic. It’s tied to the history of the neighborhood.”

See also: Aluminum and Vinyl Siding of Greenpoint.

I Think This Is Also Known As “Repeating The Negative,” But No Matter . . .

Flood the zone, pay the price:

The owners of Gorilla Coffee — where irate employees walked out en masse in April — are suing the New York Times for destroying their lives by covering the debacle.

Most Awesome Cop Ever

It’s sort of like what might happen if Marge Gunderson lived in Bed-Stuy instead of Fargo:

One bullet whizzed past Officer Jones’s head. She fired back, emptying her five-shot revolver. One shot knocked the gun from the man’s two-handed grip, piercing his right middle finger and grazing his left hand, according to the police. Another shot hit the lock on the front door, jamming it.

One shot knocks the gun out of the suspect’s hand, and the other one locks the door . . . that’s like something you see in a movie. Wow . . . and this was the first time she had to use her gun. She was promoted to detective today.

(Ray Kelly owes her more than that for the bad PR day they had.)

Who Killed The Greenpoint Food Market? “A Manhattan Publication” Did . . .

The Red Hook Ballfields treatment comes to Greenpoint:

The organizer of the Greenpoint Food Market has decided to fold her 10-month-old indie eats bazaar in the face of a threat from city health officials to slap summonses on her vendors because they lack commercial food handling permits.

. . .

Health inspectors have not officially visited the market and organizers were not aware of any complaints made about food-borne illness. But Kim believed that inspectors would visit the June market after the gathering received increased attention from the neighborhood media, including the New York Times, a Manhattan publication.