How About Corbin Bernsen Place?*

After learning the horrible truth about the origins of the name of one of Manhattan Beach’s main streets, Community Board 15 committee considers some interesting and inventive ways to whitewash history:

Despite all of the commotion made about ridding the name of notorious anti-Semite Austin Corbin from the streets of Manhattan Beach, only about fifty people showed up at Kingsborough Community College Monday night to talk about the future of Corbin Place at a special Community Board 15 hearing.

Still, based on the impassioned speeches that were made, it was almost guaranteed that the man of the hour — Austin Corbin — was smiling from the hereafter, happy with the knowledge that he is still being remembered after all of these years and considered by some, to be an “acolyte of a tyrant,” the likes of Adolf Hitler and Joseph Stalin.

“When I think of Corbin Place, I think of Swastika Place,” said Michael Geller, the male Democratic District Leader for the 45th Assembly District, who claims that Corbin’s name is a symbol just like the skull and cross bones.

“Austin Corbin and Hitler and Stalin should be remembered, but not by raising him to a place of honor,” said Geller. . . .

. . .

During the course of the hearing, there were those who found a middle-of-the-road solution to the problem.

Speaker Gary Medovoy and noted Brooklyn historian Ron Schweiger recommended that the street be renamed, but to another Corbin — Margaret Corbin, who defended New York City against a British onslaught during the revolutionary war.

“She was America’s first woman soldier, and was also the first woman soldier to be injured in battle,” Schweiger noted.

Then again, maybe they should just change the street’s name to “Scoreboard Way”:

“Let’s put a statue up next to the Holocaust Memorial Park of Austin Corbin,” said Manhattan Beach resident Bernie Klein. “We’ll make it a small statue, so when we go by, we can throw tomatoes at it.”

Still, his, as well as several other Corbin Place residents’ thoughts, were clear.

“I’m against anti Semitism,” he said. “But I would like to know what we gain by starting this whole commotion. Does that make us safer?”

“The man died 130 years ago,” he added. “Maybe he apologized before he died? We don’t know.”

“What we do know is that the Jews are living here in spite of what he said,” explained Klein. “We won, not him. We’ve won!”

*And as a bonus, apparently his father was Jewish!

I Taught Her Everything I Know

One side of the dueling ex-husband/ex-wife French bakery battle in Park Slope was shut down by the Health Department, leading the man to graciously direct customers to visit his ex-wife’s store instead:

The feuding French bakers of Park Slope entered an uneasy détente this week.

Michael Martin, owner of Delices de Paris on Ninth Street, and his ex-wife, Rosanna Rosa of Café Zana on Seventh Avenue, are together again — that is to say their apple tarts are getting reacquainted.

The Health Department played Cupid by closing down Martin’s bakery last week after finding numerous violations. The most egregious was raw sewage in the basement.

If that isn’t romantic, here’s what is: Martin is now telling his customers to go to his ex’s bakery!

It’s a far cry from the bitter pill Martin was dispensing back in December. As reported in The Brooklyn Paper, Martin hung a sign in his window after Rosa opened a rival shop two blocks away. He claimed that Rosa was deliberately trying to steal his customers with her similar shop.

But isn’t that sort of a backhanded recommendation? Would you really want the owners of KFC to suggest an alternative?

Thor — Rawr! — Son Of Odin, Thrower Of Thunder, The Great Muzzler

Tenants set to be displaced by Thor’s all-powerful thunderbolt are under a strict gag order as per the terms of their lease with the developer:

A dozen business owners have vowed to stay mute about the amusement mecca’s future because of an airtight provision of their leases that threatens severe penalties for talking — even during crucial public hearings planned for this year.

“Everyone is going to have to shrug their shoulders and say nothing, and that’s exactly what they want,” said Dianna Carlin, owner of the now-closed Boardwalk shop Lola Staar Souvenir Boutique.

“They want to bulldoze through this whole thing,” she said of developer Thor Equities.

The sweeping clause in the leases — most of them signed by short-term tenants in buildings scooped up along the Boardwalk — threatens $10,000 fines for each offense and even eviction for squawking about “the redevelopment activities” on Coney Island.

The clause also bars attendance at parades, marches, other public events and petition signings until three years after the lease is terminated — demands that would conceivably keep tenants from speaking during a city-mandated public land review process this year.

Not to worry, though — Dick Zigun will pick up the slack:

Others doubted the clause would stifle opposition during a public review expected to go through Community Board 13, the borough president’s office and the city Council before reaching Mayor Bloomberg.

“If people need to sign a lease for one more year, that takes priority over speaking out in public,” said Dick Zigun, president of Coney Island USA, an arts and community group. “Coney Island has enough loudmouths, including me, to speak out about development.”

I Only Started To Feel Stupid When My Life Began To Resemble A New Yorker Cartoon

A study shows that almost half of all cars on the road in Park Slope are simply looking for parking:

Almost half of the cars clogging Park Slope’s main commercial arteries are driving in circles in search of parking, a new traffic study from a transportation advocacy group shows.

While vehicles competing for parking spaces account for only 28% of street traffic on some of Manhattan’s most congested streets, 45% of drivers on the road in this primarily residential Brooklyn neighborhood are searching for curbside parking, according to the study, which Transportation Alternatives will release today.

A lack of parking options translates into lost business, as potential customers grow frustrated circling the block and eventually take their business to other neighborhoods, the study shows. About 15% of parked cars are also illegally stationed in front of fire hydrants, no-standing zones, and ambulance lanes near hospitals.

Soon Streets Only Will Be Named For Numbers And Jesus

Some are looking to change the name of “Corbin Place” in Brooklyn’s Manhattan Beach now that everybody understands how much of a raging anti-semite namesake Austin Corbin was:

Over the last two weeks, several dozen Corbin Place residents have contacted the Community Board 15 office, demanding to know how the name change would affect everything from their mail to the deeds to their homes.

“It seems that the news has finally hit them that they [Corbin Place residents] will have to do some work,” said Community Board 15 Chair Theresa Scavo, who said that most of the calls she’s answered at the board offices were from residents voicing their outrage.

“I’ve answered about 50 phone calls all about the same things,” she said. “Over and over I’m told that people are afraid that the name change is going to be more like they’re moving.”

Dozens more calls regarding the same concerns have been sent to State Senator Carl Kruger’s office, as well as the offices of City Councilmember Michael Nelson, who is spearheading the charge to get the street renamed.

To assuage the concerns of residents, Nelson is reportedly bringing representatives from the United States Post Office, as well as an attorney to talk about what block residents will and will not be required to do if the name change goes through.

The street, ironically, is already named for the person who put Manhattan Beach on the map: Austin Corbin.

In the late 1800s, Corbin built the first railroads to the Town of Gravesend, which was later broken up into the neighborhoods of Manhattan Beach, Brighton Beach and Coney Island.

Corbin is also credited with building several hotels in the area, including the Manhattan Beach Hotel, a premier vacation spot for millionaires, elected officials and the Broadway stars of the time.

But sometimes you have to take history warts and all.

As indicated in Daily News columnist Denis Hamill’s story, besides building up Manhattan Beach, Corbin was a president of the American Society of the Suppression of Jews.

He often spoke out against Jews and Jewish causes.

According to an article in the Brooklyn Eagle that Hamill cited in his piece, Corbin said Jews “were a pretentious class who expect three times as much for their money as other people.”

“They [Jews] are a detestable and vulgar people,” he repeatedly said in statements to the press.

The fresh look at historical facts has prompted many to demand a name change, said Nelson.

“The majority of people living in the area are Jewish,” Nelson said in an earlier interview. “It just doesn’t seem right to have a street, especially in our little corner of the world, named after this despicable character.”

But doesn’t this quickly get problematic once you start digging too deep? After all, Peter Stuyvesant — think Stuyvesant Place, Stuyvesant Town and Stuyvesant High School — was a bit of a Jew hater, too. Then there’s Cortlandt Street — named for the Van Cortlandt Family, who happened to be slaveowners. And Dey Street — named for Dirck Dey, another slaveowner. Oh, and William Houstoun — who Houston Street is named for — slaveowner, too. And don’t forget Thomas Jefferson — who Jefferson Street is named for — slaveowner and slave rapist.