Don’t Tell Your Mom’s Out-Of-Town Friends But . . .

Those counterfeit goods they’re buying on Canal Street may be making them immoral:

“The effect on morality, people don’t anticipate,” said Prof. Dan Ariely, the author of “Predictably Irrational,” who conducted the studies. “We asked them if wearing fakes would get people to cheat more, they didn’t think it has an effect.”

. . .

In one of his studies, half of the 250 subjects were told that the designer glasses they were wearing were “real,” while the other half were told they were wearing “counterfeits.” They were told to do a number of tasks that seemed to be related to the glasses, like evaluating scenery. But tucked into the sequence was a math test. Researchers found that 60 percent of those who were wearing “counterfeit” glasses cheated, while only 20 percent of those wearing “real” glasses cheated.

Location Scout: Counterfeit Triangle.

This Certainly Changes My Sunbathing Habits

But seriously, is there anyone on Staten Island who doesn’t understand what calamari is? I’m shocked:

When Jeanmarie Ritger’s 10-year-old daughter swims with friends in the family’s backyard pool in Dongan Hills, the children are captured on a video camera posted on a neighbor’s roof.

There is nothing Ms. Ritger can do about the unwanted surveillance of her yard, her life and her daughter, say officials.

That’s because the camera is not trained on her bedroom or bathroom window — places where New York law says a person has a reasonable expectation of privacy and such surveillance would be illegal.

“I’m stuck and I’m very uncomfortable and I’m concerned,” Ms. Ritger, an elementary school teacher, said during a recent interview in her yard under the watchful eye of her neighbor’s camera. “When does surveilling someone’s property become an invasion of someone else’s privacy?”

Not when it’s in a homeowner’s back, side or front yard.

Ms. Ritger’s video-taping neighbors defended their rooftop camera, saying they are protecting their yard and in-ground pool, not spying. They accuse Ms. Ritger and her brother, who lives in the house next-door, of throwing worms, berries and calamari (squid) into their pool over the last few years. Ms. Ritger has flatly denied those claims, calling them “ridiculous.”

“It’s watching my yard and her yard,” the neighbor, Peter Malvagna, said of his camera. “It’s legal and I can’t get in trouble for it.”

. . .

William Smith, a spokesman for the Richmond County District Attorney Daniel Donovan, said the Staten Island office was the first to win a felony conviction in the state under Stephanie’s Law. A retired firefighter was convicted here in 2004 of secretly recording his girlfriend’s teen-age daughter undressing in his home.

Before the enactment in 2003 of Stephanie’s Law, which was created after a Long Island woman was secretly recorded by her landlord undressing in her apartment, there were even fewer protections from prying eyes.

“In plain language, New York State law defines unlawful surveillance as recording someone, without their permission, at a place and time when a person has a reasonable expectation of privacy, specifically a place where a person believes he or she could disrobe in privacy. This law has not been interpreted to cover the outside of a residence, especially in an urban or suburban environment like Staten Island,” said Smith.

Showered In Mystery

Crazed ex? Pissed off creditor? No one knows:

Residents of a block in Boerum Hill have known for months that rogue urinators were defiling their street, but they never had the proof to convince local police of a scatological conspiracy on Dean Street — until now.

A two-liter container of human urine, complete with syringes bobbing in the waste, was found Sunday morning between Bond and Nevins streets — and the repulsive find was finally enough to prove to cops that residents were being tormented by micturating hellions and not merely dogs with overactive bladders.

“It’s absolutely gross,” said Joseph Samulski, who had the misfortune of finding the container on his front steps. “I don’t even know how you could accumulate that much urine.”

But on the brighter side, “It was the first time we were able to establish what we’ve been saying on our block — that someone has been pouring urine on cars.”

. . .

The pissing match broke out on the day of the block party last September, when several people emerged from their homes near the Nevins Street end of the block to encounter an overpowering stench of liquid waste on the street and in one man’s pickup truck.

Since then, that pickup truck has been showered at least two other times.

“Thankfully, whenever it happened, my truck needed a good washing anyway,” said good sport Kevin McGowan.

O No! I Can’t Stop Looking!

I don’t know what it means, but I don’t like it:

On Sunday, March 2, the Russian & Turkish Baths on East 10th Street in the East Village was living up to its history of hosting damp celebrities such as Sean “P. Diddy” Combs, Jennifer Lopez and John Belushi. . . .

. . .

. . . Sean Lennon, two topless young women and Mr. Lennon’s mother, Yoko Ono, stole the show. They were in the Russian Room, sweating it up.

“Sean was pouring water over Yoko’s head,” reported a witness, who was sitting among the packed crowd in the room, which is essentially a giant oven. “She recoiled momentarily when he poured the ice cold water, but soon began enjoying it. She was sitting down with a towel around her head. She was wearing one of the bath-issue togas.”

Mr. Lennon and his two female friends were standing in the middle of the room.

“They were massaging each other’s boobs suggestively,” the source said of the young ladies. “Sean was sweating like crazy. The two girls he was with were like 19, pretty hot, and he was making out with one of them.” Mama Ono did not seem to notice.

Yet Another Reason To Demand Conventional

Because you’re never assured that the amphibians you also get have been raised organically:

A health-conscious Brooklyn mom says she nearly jumped out of her skin when she found a little green frog napping between the leaves of a head of organic lettuce she brought home.

“I jumped away” said 39-year-old Yvonne Brechbuhler, fearing she’d uncovered a dead bug or worse, a slug.

“I didn’t know what it was. But once I realized it was a frog, I was okay.”

The Prospect Heights mom, who doubles as a stage actress, described the tiny visitor no bigger than the tip of her pinky finger as “one tough frog.”

She said first the frog survived a journey from South Florida to the Park Slope Food Coop, then another three days in her refrigerator.

Finally it narrowly escaped being part of a pesticide-free salad she was making last week.