Annotated Twitter: Didya Hear The One About Sam Waterston Bringing A Ferret Into Dunkin' Donuts?

December 4, 2014


Why you'd bring a bunny into a Dunkin' Donuts, I have no idea.

December 11, 2014


I actually wrote emails to the Schools Commissioner and Mayor asking whether this was "normal." Haven't heard back. Suffice it to say, there are at least three things that are troubling — take your pick which is the worst: shitty fucking non-curriculum related field trips, shitty fucking corporate pandering or shitty fucking established religion. That no one from either the Board of Ed or the Mayor's office has deigned to respond solidifies what complete fucking jokers these people are. Oh, and we also saw at least one of these same school groups — yes, "groups" as in plural — duck into the subterranean Burger King on the northwest corner of 34th and Sixth. Apparently our children are that fucked.

December 13, 2014


Free NBA League Pass weekend, when the Sixers were still on track to losing every game ever, if memory serves.

December 14, 2014


The silliest audio opener for one of the most exciting shows of recent memory. We never fast-forwarded the DVR just to laugh at this line.

December 15, 2014


I don't, as a rule, "hatewatch," but "friends" of mine do; Whither Forrest Bedford or even Jack McCoy?


Presented without comment.

December 16, 2014


I am *going* to write a song using that abhorrent final phrase at the top of the billboard.

December 23, 2014


Gosh, trying desperately to remember what this was referring to; it's possible it was a riff on something I saw on Nashville.
50


Ah, 1983.

December 27, 2014


It was Kristin Davis, dummy. She just turned 50 at the end of February.

December 28, 2014


The BernzOmatic, in case you were wondering; it works with the Searzall attachment.

December 29, 2014


Drives me fucking nuts. Part of the absurdity of Twitter. And uselessness.

December 31, 2014


A modest proposal: waht if we all started disregarding television cameras?

Posted: March 17th, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Too Much Information | Tags: , , , ,

House Of The Golden State Warriors' Lee

I suppose it's appropriate that when faced with a gaping hole of three book club choices to deliver I reached out to Goober to see if there was anything he'd been wanting to read. He mentioned Pale Fire, so that went into the mix. (Interestingly, I just searched my email for this email and found another email from me in 2009 asking these guys what they thought was the most chest-thumping book and Pale Fire was one of five I posited [albeit in the American canon, which in retrospect does seem a little strange — and which was pointed out at the time by Goober]; point being, always note the things you didn't pick.)

It's ridiculous: a commentary on a poem that's just bad enough, and a setting with two intertwining worlds in a book that's only just under 300 pages which somehow transforms into a wonderful murder mystery — this genre-busting feat. On top of all that, the thing is funny and entertaining. As rich and juicy as Lolita. I haven't read any other Nabakov. Sorry.

It was funny to return to the put-upon European theme, by which I mean the vision of the cultured European in the absurd milieu of middle America in the 1950s. It's a funny concept in part because it seems strange to conceive of Europeans that way today. The internet has made us all so unremarkably knowledgeable that there's not much to hoard over each other. OK, I just Googled him; that was interesting. I was going to comment on the time elapsed between the fall of Hitler and the publication of Lolita and how it's crazily short because this year is 2015 and it's just 13 years beyond 9/11, which seems like it was just yesterday. On second thought, it's not really important, except to say that 1) life immediately goes on and 2) national or continental tragedies are in the eye of the beholder, and are no more or less impactful than other major historical incidents. [This was about a half hour of randomness while not really watching the Golden State Warriors-Los Angeles Lakers game — wow, am I really watching a turd like this? — and hearing the current season of House of Cards playing on Jen's iPad about five — OK, maybe eight — feet away.]

Another random time-sensitive thought: What about the voice of Harper Lee? It seems germane this month at least.

Posted: March 16th, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Books Are The SUVs Of Writing | Tags: ,

You Act Like Editors Are Actually Useful . . .

Nearly everyone who reads Donna Tartt's The Goldfinch says something along the lines of "that book sure needed an editor." I actually didn't mind how long it was (nearly 800 pages), and I say this as someone who really dislikes long books, or at least distrusts them and actively avoids them.

I will say that the thing I was curious about while reading Goldfinch is that middle part in Las Vegas — which was wonderful, don't get me wrong; I loved the ridiculousness of exurban post-real estate bubble (some bubble, at least) Las Vegas — seems tacked on. It obviously moves along the story, so it's not literally tacked on, but it does seem like a different kernel of an idea that was grafted onto the main idea.

Goober brought up an interesting point, which revolved around the supposed timelessness of the story — it's written like ten or fifteen years later, and since it takes place in a post-9/11 world, that means that it's sort of happening in the year 2025 maybe. Like the end of the universe, it's jarring if you think about it too much, so it's best not to think about it.

I am dimly aware of some bad reviews of the book; I don't get that at all and I don't much care either. It actually has an ending, for one, which most writers seem physically incapable of accomplishing. And although there's a sense in there of some kind of fun but maybe convoluted symbols/metaphors for "coming of age" (I think that's the point of the Las Vegas-New York-Europe contrasts and then maybe — maybe? — something about the way Americans grieve versus — maybe? — other people on the planet when it comes to national tragedies), it doesn't distract from what is actually a fun book to read. So whatever.

Posted: March 16th, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Books Are The SUVs Of Writing | Tags:
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