Look, when you're trying to figure out what to do with radishes, the very last thing you want to do is look at slideshows of radishes. I want to write "I love slideshows" just because I think it might be the first time that phrase ever appeared on the internet.
November 18, 2014
Even though Washington Mutual has been defunct since 2009, I'm still using up WaMu checks; it's as if the Great Recession never happened.
The fuel oil company is the only thing I ever use checks for; their online bill pay system has been "coming soon" for years now. It used to be the landlord until she started asking for the rent in cash. The address is from three places ago.
We had heard about M.P. Cooley's Ice Shear long before its release only because we know Cooley — not the author, but rather the author's sister. When it came out it was the obvious selection for the month. We hoped the Amazon bump from five or ten people would be significant.
It was also, uh, cool to see the Cooley DNA in the writing; I heard Cooley (meaning Cooley's sister, and not the author) in Cooley's writing (meaning Cooley the author and not Cooley's sister). I forget which line but it had something to do with the protagonist bringing people together, which is something we know Cooley excels at (meaning Cooley's sister and not — necessarily — the author).
We rarely read mysteries for book club and I rarely read them myself so it's hard to talk about the craft of the mystery. One thing I noticed (spoiler) though is that on page 108 in the middle, Cooley writes about a key character's missing molar. Being a mystery about methamphetamine dealing, this jumped out at me, I'm pretty sure because of that horrible Green Day video from the mid 1990s:
Also, a very low point in popular music.
Anyway, I couldn't get that strange tidbit out of my end, and when it got to the — spoiler — end of the novel, it vindicated my odd feeling. So I don't know if that was a breadcrumb or even a remnant from an early draft that inadvertently squeaked through. I definitely wondered about it though.
At the meeting we asked Cooley (the sister, not the author) about next steps — everyone had ideas about who should play who. Who knows? We'll see . . .
It took me a while to remember what exactly I was repeating, but it eventually came back: ESPN's Scott Van Pelt floridly and eloquently eulogizing the Washington Post's Ben Bradlee during a late night edition of SportsCenter, only doing it in a way that didn't really say anything about Bradlee's legacy, then lazily adding at the end, "For our younger viewers, go to Google." If only he wrote obituaries.
In the post-2 a.m.-class of Tweets, this had to do with what I felt was gratuitous grandstanding — as if there's any other kind! — from our local council member about a large development on the waterfront; it also merited a late night FW: Link email to Goober and Jen. Later I regretted feeling anything, remembering that every single aspect of city government in a one-party city is some form of theater, with outcomes predetermined. In retrospect, I should amend this to "The City Council is fucking stupid."
The $12 deducted from your account this month is a one-time convenience fee for losing all your personal data to hackers.
So our bank, Esahc (read backwards if you care), deigned to tag me with a $12 fee because a direct deposit was $5 under the minimum required to maintain a free checking account. I called and asked them to remove the fee. They did (as they did this month again). Ready to switch banks.
Who is the idiot behind home plate wearing bright orange Marlins gear (with matching visor)? Contrarian streak activated; I hate myself.
Um, ya think? So much of the governance of this state (and city) is so fucking crazy-making. With so few media outlets discussing these proposals at all until the waning days of the election, do you think anyone really was that informed about how to vote? New York is so "progressive" . . . except when it comes to voting. A disgrace, and it's hard to believe that everyone in power doesn't prefer it that way.
Ultimately, I want to be empowered to decide how much I want to panic.
The people in charge want people to think it's hip not to panic; they are the least hip people on the planet. I don't want to live in a world where elected officials are cool. They're not. And when people think they are, that means politicians have way, way too much power.
October 25, 2014
I may not be an epidemiologist, but I am a City Council member, and believe me, you have absolutely nothing to be worried about.
Like a ham, able to be served at Christmas? The words of ESPN's Mark Jones (harder than I thought to figure out who called this game, but this page exists) after ASU put the game out of reach late in the fourth quarter against the Huskies. This seems to be a go-to line for him; I just wish I understood what it meant.
It occurred to me, while out at an artisanal hot dog/cocktail establishment, how ridiculous it is to make music that people dine out to. I'm sure ASCAP is appreciative of their efforts, but people, seriously?
I'm happy to believe it's my own problem but I much prefer to blame the New York Post. I find myself avoiding clicking on their links, especially on a mobile device. Technology changes everything.
The last day of the public radio pledge drive, and I'd heard this bit of opera so many times that I finally had to figure out what it was. It's "Nessun Dorma" by Puccini, and it took so, so long to figure that out:
October 30, 2014
Looking forward to spending a portion of the evening figuring out where the "I love me some [blank]" trope comes from.
Jamaal Charles had his stats corrected (didn't know this happened), RENDERING MEANINGLESS ALL THE HAND WRINGING ABOUT DALLAS' INABILITY TO GET A SACK LATE IN A MEANINGLESS GAME!!!!!
Not me, this, which serves as a great reminder to everyone to avoid ever being interviewed about anything lifestyle related; they always make you sound like a big jerk.
Watching the SNL peformance, it just popped into my head. I couldn't remember if Gaddafi ever died (he did, in 2011). I would worry about how this all sounds but Prince seems so fucking weird that it's hard not to think he had this in mind in the first place; as mysterious and inscrutable now as he seemed when I was in grade school. Before they both pass on, he and Mark E. Smith should reimagine "Girl from the North Country" (Nashville Skyline version). (Just kidding about that "passing on" snark: one is 56 and the other is 57 . . . though one looks like 36 and the other looks like 77!)
November 3, 2014
Vintage-themed bar is bringing pingpong and fried pickles to Myrtle Ave.
As usual, I had to google what this was to remember what I was repeating. It's as if you already know it's Brooklyn without the Myrtle Avenue reference. The place itself actually seems a lot less annoying than the headline makes it sound.
November 6, 2014
Apple yogurt, farm-fresh scrambled eggs and freshly caught flounder.
If you have a website these people send this shit spam that goes something like "I'm compiling a list of links around the web and here are some I want to share" and four out of five look legitimate and the fifth is some shit about onlineloanjizzbox.com or some such. I'm googling and no one is calling them out and I cannot figure out why. I need an answer about what on earth it's about.
2:29 a.m.: a second wind! And back to that Cure song: when Robert Smith says "stupid game," it sounds so much like "stew pit." Is there anyone with a "Stew Pit" alias [checking . . .]? Yes! He (he?) has inactive Twitter and Tumblr accounts!
You smell like a monkey, and you look like one, too.
